A site of Dr. Pankaj Desai

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn’t even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his were eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications." Which one?" I asked. "The patch.
The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see...
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked,
"How long have you been bedridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered... "Why, not for about twenty years- when my husband was alive."

Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his monthly rounds. He sees Joe and asks him, "Joe, how much is three times three?"
Joe responds "59."
He goes over to Tom and asks, "Tom, how much is three times three?"
Tom responds, "Wednesday." He finally goes over to John and asks, "
John, how much is three times three?" "NINE" replies John.
"That’s right ...now how did you come to that answer?"
"It was easy...I just subtracted 59 from Wednesday!"

What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?

A double blind study!!!!

You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of laxatives, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.

After receiving his medication from the pharmacist, the customer asks, "are these time release pills?" The pharmacist replies, "Yes. They begin to work after your check clears."

Late one night the doctor’s wife was home alone, after her husband had been called to the hospital for an emergency. The doorbell rings, and she answers.

"Is the doctor at home?" asks the man at the door, in a very hoarse and quiet voice due to his aching throat.

"No, c’mon in!" whispers the doctor’s wife in return.