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Body
Language Body Gestures
The Magic, Movements and Reading of Body Language
(From: http://www.super-selfhelp.com/Body_Language_Magic_Posture.html)
How to read body languages?
How to read body languages depends on
the person and how you perceive things in life. If you are
searching for a specific meaning, then likely you will see
this meaning in the way the body moves. Yet if you want the
facts, thus you will search deeper into the person to see
what you come up with.
There are many types of body languages
conveyed everyday. No matter where you look you can see a
person’s body move as they speak, move, sit, stand, lie down
and so forth. If a person is lying down with his hand
backwards on his forehead, likely he is either dreaming or
thinking about something he always wanted to know or see.
At what time you see a person staring
off into the distant air and nothing is in view, the person
may be daydreaming or else visualizing the scenery around
him. What is it you want to see?
Body languages are either verbal or
not. If the body is in a position you can determine by
glance an overall view of what the person may be feeling.
Body languages express feelings, thoughts and emotions, yet
the words are the enforcers. The body languages are the
backers.
What are body languages? How can you
read the languages spoken from the body? If you see a child
out in the yard walking with his head down and seem to be
wandering nowhere, he is probably lonely and wants someone
to play with him. This is a sign of attention seeker.
A person that laughs a lot even if the
situation is funny or not may be seeking attention, deranged
in the mind, or what have you. The person is probably
deranged in the mind if he or she laughs while someone is
telling a bone chilling story about someone getting hurt in
the picture.
It depends on what you are seeing and
what you want to see, but some people believe that if a
person is rubbing his eyes it is a sign of disbelief or the
person is in doubt. If a person is rubbing their eyes I am
going to ask if they have something in their eyes or if they
suffer hay fever. If the person responds then I know what
the person is feeling, since he told me in his own words
what is going on. I am not going to jump to any conclusions
as to what his body is expressing.
Some people believe if a person clasps
the hands behind the back that the person is angry,
apprehensive or frustrated. I seen many people act out in
this gesture and they were relaxing, or getting in a
position that made them feel comfortable.
Yet other people may see a person rest
his hands on the head and look down with the eyes, and think
he is bored. I’ve seen this gesture many times and knew that
the person was thinking hard, resting, or else considering
what the other person was saying.
Most people may feel if you are not
looking a person in the eyes while speaking that the person
is ignoring you, bored with your conversation and the like.
The truth is people often listen and hear better while
handling other tasks and communicating. I won’t spend all my
time looking someone in the eyes as I speak, simply because
I have other tasks on my agenda, thus I can still hear what
they are saying as they speak. Of course at an interview I
would look the person in the eyes.
While sitting in the company of our
friends or our acquaintances we must observe whether they
are really enjoying our talk or are just getting bored.
Although most of us hardly bother about such a term as
‘bore’ in an informal situation, one must be able to analyze
in a formal situation whether the audience is really
listening to you or not. This can be identified by observing
certain actions and gestures of the listeners.
Rejection: Gestures like beating the
table, beating knuckles on the table, yawning, looking
somewhere else, gossiping or placing one’s head down on the
table etc. denote that the listener is getting bored and
something must be done to quickly regain the interest of the
listeners. The drooping-eyes position is the gesture shown
by a person who does not bother to hide his feelings. He
puts his open hand to the side of his head, drops his chin
in a nodding manner and allows his eyelids to droop.
Sometimes it so happens that the
listener seems to be looking directly into your eyes but his
thoughts has drifted away to some other things. The best way
to identify this is by putting up a query directly to that
person. Being faced by such a scene that person feels
perplexed and may ask you to repeat the question or simply
say “I beg your pardon”. Another way to identify this kind
of a situation is by observing the eyes of the listener. The
eyes of the listener hardly blink, as if he is in a state of
trance.
Other indications of boredom are -
frequently looking at your wristwatch...nail chewing, or
throwing one’s head in a backwards motion in order to be in
a more comfortable position, or rather more defensive
position. Showing signs of being hungry, thirsty or
uncomfortable are also common indications of boredom. This
is all according to people who think they can read the human
body and that the body speaks louder than words. The fact is
if a person is looking at his wristwatch is it possible he
has another engagement and he is keeping track of the time?
Sure it is. If a person is nibbling on the nails, it doesn’t
mean he is bored, it could mean he has a nervous condition
also. If a person is tossing back their head, is it possible
vanity is in the picture rather than seeking comfort, or
preparing for defense? Some people do this to get their hair
out of the face.
Acceptance: Acceptance gestures are
difficult to identify although it can be easily identified
whether you are being rejected or not. In a group if you are
speaking and someone moves closer to you and places a hand
on your chest or shoulders in a reassuring way means that
you are trusted and whatever you are saying is being
accepted as the truth. Though this can never be taken as a
sure shot signal it mostly is true.
But still some of the signals that can
indicate acceptance are:
1) Hand to chest gesture: this gesture can indicate greeting
others, pledging allegiance to national flag, openness,
sincerity, swearing an oath etc. In general this kind of a
signal indicates devotion, loyalty and honesty.
2) Touching gestures: by touching we simply express our
emotions to our close ones. When someone approaches us and
touches us it can mean that he/she wants us to stop and
start listening to him/her. Touching or grasping one’s hands
or shoulders can mean that the other person wants to
interrupt or put weight on some issue.
Touching gestures can also be used to
calm down a person. Touching gestures like hugging someone
indicate intimacy, love or friendliness or a sort of
closeness in relation.
During a Conversation: Although hardly
do we notice some of the behavioral patterns shown by people
around us, but it is worth noticing that the higher the
socio-political stature of a particular person, the lesser
is his usage of gestures and more refined is their selection
of appropriate gestures for a particular scenario
With the aid of this example we can
clearly see that with the increase in age, a person’s
gestures also get refined. For e.g., if a child tells a lie
he immediately covers his/her mouth with one or both the
palms. In the same situation a teenager could be observed to
be touching his lips or mouth region lightly with his
finger.
But when an adult is faced with a
similar situation, he being a seasoned campaigner will show
a bare minimum gesture of touching his nose lightly,
something which we would hardly ever notice. Yet, some
people will tell outright lies and you will not notice
unless the person is observed closely, while his/her words
are thoroughly paid attention to. For example, a sociopath,
psychopath, or pathological liar will not use body languages
to let you know he or she is telling a lie.
Mouth covered by hand or palm: Very
often people try to cover their lie by making certain
gestures like covering their mouths partially with their
palm while the thumb is kept pressed against one of the
cheeks. This kind of a gesture denotes that the speaker is
flatly lying or is trying to hide something. But if the
listener makes the same gesture then it means that the
listener has no trust in the speaker and is not ready to buy
his story.
Nose Touching: This is just a more
sophisticated replacement for the above mentioned gesture.
While making this gesture some people rub below their nose,
since it’s more effective than the above because it’s not
much evident.
Rubbing the Eyes: While speaking in
public or in a private gathering, if you notice that someone
is rubbing his/her eyes, and avoiding making any kind of eye
contact, then it is quite a possibility that he/she is
lying. This gesture is generally employed to avoid the eyes
of a person to whom one is telling a lie.
Collar Pulling: Some people
unconsciously pull their collar when they tell a lie. In
doing so they suspect that they have been caught. This
gesture also indicates a person’s anger or frustration. In
such a case this person simply pulls his collar to let some
cool air inside to make himself feel a bit relaxed.
There are several other indications
that a listener may give when he begins to get bored like
supporting his head on his arm or palms, putting his head
down on the table while listening etc.
There are certain gestures that a
listener makes at what time he is interested in a
conversation. If two people are sitting across a table or a
speaker is giving a lecture and the listener is sitting
watching intently with a closed hand resting on his/her
cheek and the index finger pointing upwards, then it is a
clear signal of the fact that the listener is very much
interested in continuing the conversation. But one must be
cautious to note that when the index finger points
vertically upwards and the thumb are supporting the chin, it
could mean that the listener does not agree with the
speaker’s point of view. If at this point of time the
listener begins rubbing his chin with his thumb and index
finger then it means that he is making a decision.
It’s no myth that those who understand
body language better excel in their workplace and in their
social circle because they know when to make the right
moves. Managers, salespersons, teachers and many more use it
in their everyday life to their advantage.
Let me discuss a particular case of a meeting between the
company executives and the worker union’s leaders over
increasing certain benefits for the employees. During the
meeting one of the executives passed a message that they
should not give into any more demands of the union leaders
apart from what had already been accepted in the meeting
till then. While the union leaders kept on pressing for the
remaining demands, they eventually gave up after ten
minutes. Was it just some experience that told him to take
such a decision? No, it was his knowledge of body language
that helped him and his company to come out of the meeting
on fair terms.
So what did he see there? The manager
saw that one of the main leaders of the worker’s union gave
signs of willingness to reach to an agreement by unbuttoning
his coat. Unbuttoning coat buttons during a meeting are
signals of openness and friendliness. Of course the manger
not only got accolades from his seniors but also a raise.
The way we speak and what we speak
forms a very small portion of our dialogue. Majority of the
conversation can be understood through a person’s body
language. An experienced salesperson always looks into the
eyes of his customer to see his pupils. If the pupils are
dilated then it means that the customer is interested in the
product and that it is the right time to strike.
One of the best ways of understanding the feelings of group
as a whole is by observing the gestures and expressions of
all the members of the group. If the majority of the members
do not have the same expressions then it can be very safely
assumed that the thought of the entire group is not the same
and of just of a handful of individuals. This way many
managers have prevented themselves from giving into the
unjust demands of the subordinates.
During a meeting or training program or
a presentation you can very easily make out if a person is
listening to you or not. If the left hand is kept on right
hand and the palms facing down then it’s a clear cut signal
that the listener is interested in whatever you are saying.
On the other hand if the right one covers the left one then
it’s a signal of disagreement or that the listener wants to
raise a point opposing yours. If a person is sitting with
his arms and legs crossed and gazing continuously at you
without flickering his eyes then it means that the person is
least interested in what you are talking about. If a
listener nods his head then it means that he is interested
and is encouraging you. On the other hand if he nods his
head rapidly then it means that he wants you to finish
quickly. If the listener narrows down his eyes occasionally
or strokes his chin or pulls his beard gently then it’s a
sign of evaluation and that the listener is about to make a
decision.
However, all said and done, one must be
wise enough to read the overall signals and not come to any
conclusion based on just any one gesture. It is the art of
understanding the unspoken words that has given an edge to
those who have excelled in their respective professions over
others who believed the word of mouth.
Reading the Movements of the Body
Posture can determine if a person has
an attitude, if the person is overbearing, and the like. If
a person is standing, a person may lean against an obstacle
to rest the body, or else stand straight up, thus showing a
good posture as well as a purposeful meaning.
If a person has a balanced posture thus
it can be interpreted as a sexual attraction. This may mean
in some cultures that the person has an adapting personality
and that the person is balanced properly.
Men in authoritative workplaces are
commanded to sit up, stand up, and lie down with a posture
in complete alignment. This is a symbolizing of respect and
control.
Women often have a better posture than
men, yet at what time illnesses set in it can affect the way
a person sites, lie, or stands.
Usually at what time a person is
standing or sitting with an aligned posture it means there
health may be in good condition. You will also notice the
chest area extending outward, while the head area is held up
high. The person is often in control.
Other signals are often sent regardless
of how the body is positioned. In other words the posture is
a stand-behind the hands, eyes, mouth, and other parts of
the body. The hands and eyes often make the most powerful
body languages recognizable to all. For example, a woman
with a fabulous posture may endure unwarranted male
attraction. This could put the woman in a position to use
the body to signal that the attention is not wanted. The
woman could be sitting in an upright position and as a man
approaches she may use her hand pointing it sideways and
straight up while giving a firm NO. This will let the man
know that his company is not needed.
On one hand the posture can send
messages of dominance, while at other times the posture
could appear natural. For example, a man may use his posture
or stance, puffing up his chest and with his eyes staring
into the eyes of the other party involved. If the stare
lingers longer than a couple of minutes and no words are
crossed it may be a sign of trouble.
A person could stand with a leg
extended slightly frontward, hands in pocket, and arms bent
slightly. This could be a symbol of relaxing, while standing
in position.
Men when they are gathering and talking
will often employ the last stance, unless the person is
authoritative. A person standing with his arms folded across
his chest in an upright position is showing a sign of
control, while demonstrating that his defenses are prepared
for the possible situation as it arises. Thus, he is showing
a sign of control, while showing he feels slightly or
immensely threatened in his environment.
Postures are seen while sitting,
standing or lying down. While the body sits it will most
times sit in an upright position with the knees bent, legs
crossed and likewise. Men often place their hands over their
chest while resting in a chair, which is a sign of
comfortableness. Some people even prop their knees and legs
up with one leg spread and the other leg firmly gripping the
seat area. This too is a comfortable symbol.
If you are going for an interview your
best bet is to sit up in the chair properly without slanting
or dangling the posture. This will show the interviewer that
you are in control of your situation. It will also let
him/her know you are not threatened by the meeting. |
