USER'S CORNER -
Valuable advice for married and also to be married people
Valuable advice for married and also to be
married people: you will benefit a lot and it will help in
successful marriage from Rohit Bhatt
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep
both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before
you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let
lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from
others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning
signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you
can change someone or that what you see as faults isn’t
really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or
her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will
become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the
relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to
close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You
and your mate have many different expectations, emotional
needs, values, dreams, weaknesses,
and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God
who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you
are perfect, but are you perfect for each other?
Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you
compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust,
past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her.
You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a
life" you won't find yourself making someone else
responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy,
loving and lasting relationship!
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong
reasons to be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing
household tasks, some getaway time without business or
children and daily exchanges, a meal, shared activity, a
hug, a call, a touch, a note. Leave a nice message on the
voicemail or send a nice email, sharing common goals and
interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each
other, giving each other space to grow without feeling
insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interests. You
can't always be together. Give each other a sense of
belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control
one another.
Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her
parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer.
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will
erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty,
and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you
put the ‘I’
